Perhaps you traveled to a youth soccer tournament or watched your child play in a local hockey game game on Thanksgiving morning. Your sister said that you're obsessed with sports and your mother's angry you didn't come home for the holiday.
Others aside, I hope you found ways to celebrate the holiday with your children and reminded them to be thankful - there is more to life than sports.
My family was in the "watching-a-youth-hockey-game" group. Yes, I admit it. We didn't have a traditional Thanksgiving. So how did we make it a memorable holiday? We approached it as an adventure:
-Drove halfway across the country on Wednesday. Yes, we were in a car instead of an airplane. (Did you know that a fourteen-year-old boy can talk for more than 14 hours and still have a voice?)
-Relaxed most of Thanksgiving day in a hotel suite. That's right - some rare R&R.
-Ate at Lonestar. The coach asked the team to hold off until Friday for a traditional Thanksgiving meal. The kids didn't mind, but they're looking forward to a belated turkey dinner next week.
-Watched a USHL hockey game - Sioux Falls vs. Sioux City (11/26/09). Our son Clark was in the lineup so his brother and sister saw where plays hockey. Here are a few pictures from the game.
Breea, Anna (family friend), and Cameron
Clark is on the left (#6)
Clark
We missed our relatives this year, but this was surely be a Thanksgiving adventure we'll never forget. I'm especially thankful for good health, family, jobs, and that our children were together for the holiday. I'm also thankful that Cameron's hockey coach and Breea's swim coach allowed the kids to take a few days off.
Please wish us luck on our loooong drive home. (Does anyone know where I can buy earplugs?)
After recently observing an irate sports parent, I realized how easily a situation could turn from a heated moment to a truly dangerous event. When does a situation warrant calling 911? Retired Police Lieutenant Dave Swordshas agreed to give us some tips and guidelines for handling these out-of-control parents.
Q: When a sports parent is yelling and screaming inappropriately, should other parents step in and try to calm the person?
A: The problem of parents getting too involved in their kid’s sporting events has been an issue as long as organized sports have been around.Most of the time, when it becomes a problem, coaches or other parents can take care of the matter.However, there are those times when things get really out of hand.
I would say that when your reaction moves from one of annoyance to one of fear, it may be time to get out that cell phone.
Q: What are the signs that a parent is over-the-edge and poses a threat to others?
A: Every parent who has had a child in sports can probably recall a time when a parent began to berate the child from the sidelines or took it upon themselves to coach the coach.But if the person begins to make threats or disrupt the game (perhaps by barging onto the field or court), then things have moved to a different level.Often, other parents or coaches will try to intercede and regain control of the situation. But if this fails or results in threats of violence, it's time to call the police.
Q: What are the guidelines for when it's appropriate to call 911?
A: First of all, 911 should be reserved for emergencies or, as in these cases, potential emergencies.I think that as long you feel compelled to call the police in the types of situations we are thinking of today, a call to 911 is absolutely appropriate.Most people don’t have their police department’s non-emergency number committed to memory, and no one at the PD would criticize you for using 911 in this situation.
Q: When in doubt, is it better to call 911 before a situation erupts to a dangerous level?
A: Absolutely. No one wants to have to call the police on another parent, especially someone you may know, but when one thinks of the possibilities for violence, a call to the law can be a prudent move to make.
I would also add that if the problem parent leaves before the police are called but does so in a way that makes you think they could come back looking for trouble, such as an open threat to do just that, or more subtle comments that lead you to believe it may not be over, go ahead and make that call - just let the police know what is going on and ask if they could send a car to drive by on occasion until the game is over.If you get a dispatcher who tries to tell you that is not possible, or refuses to do so, ask to speak to the officer in charge.
In closing, let me repeat what I said in response to the first question.When the situation moves from annoyance to fear, it may be time to call the police.Just use your common sense and realize that while you hate to call the police because of what might happen, that is better than letting it escalate to a level where someone could get hurt.Grandma was right when she told us, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
*Dave generously offered to answer any further questions. Feel free to post in the "Comments." He will check in periodically throughout the month of October.
As I get ready to hit the road for several out-of-state hockey games, I still find the preparation daunting after approximately ten years of traveling for youth sports. Instead of giving you advice, I'll simply share with you my day:
Morning:
Took day off work (because there was too much to get ready for the weekend).
Got kids off to school.
Snuck out for quick breakfast with husband (because we won't have any time together on the weekend).
Printed weekend swimming schedule for husband.
Took care of a few business matters.
Afternoon:
Went to Target for weekend snacks and a few extras (since I haven't been to a store in ages).
Returned library books.
Mailed bills and package at post office.
Deposited money at bank for son (who lives in South Dakota).
Called husband to remind him to buy internet package so we can watch oldest son's game on tv tonight.
Made calls to change plans for trip in two weeks. (Thankful that the grandparents will be available to help us.)
Bought food at grocery store for weekend.
Evening:
Bought cord at Best Buy to connect computer to tv so we could watch son's game via internet. (This was trickier than I anticipated - I bought the wrong cord. After an hour or two of searching, I found a cord which was already attached to our DVD player and worked with my computer too. I'm not technology savvy!)
Quickly ate delicious dinner. (Thank goodness husband is a good cook and doesn't mind helping out in that area once in a while.)
Talked with another parent to confirm carpooling for the weekend.
Printed map for weekend trip.
Packed snacks for weekend.
Packed medications for weekend. (Yes, I have a cough and cold.)
Attempted to sit and watch son's game on tv.
Told son to pack hockey equipment.
Regretted that I didn't squeeze in a workout.
Planned last minute preparations for packing in the morning.
All in all, I'm relieved that I took the day off work. Now, off for the weekend...
A couple of weeks ago, my son, Clark Cristofoli, moved from Ohio to South Dakota. Clark's a junior in high school and will be playing for the Sioux Falls Stampede hockey team in the USHL (United States Hockey League) this season. Upon arriving in Sioux Falls, I realized how daunting the transition to a new team can be. Sure, the move alone was daunting, but the new team was Clark's biggest concern. And I completely forgot to keep these details in mind as we treked across the country.
So...my advice comes in hindsight of my mistakes. Some kids transition easily to a new team and others worry and struggle. You, as the parent, can and should help smooth your child's transition. Here are a few tips:
Talk with the coach before the first practice. If you're aware of your child's fears or anxiety ahead of time, tell the coach so he can help your child with the transition.
Encourage low expectations. Even though your child might be quite skilled at a sport, there's always another athlete who's more skilled.
Encourage preseason physical activity. Your child should run, walk, swim, strength train, or any type of appropriate activity to help him get in shape. This does not have to be organized training - a simple game of ghosts in the graveyard, hide and seek, or tag will do. Any type of exercise helps build and condition muscles. Your child will in turn arrive at the first practice in decent shape and that will likely result in a more confident athlete.
Carpool to the first practice. If there's a player who lives nearby, arrange a carpool. When your child arrives at practice with another team member, she'll take comfort in knowing someone ahead of time.
Throw a preseason party. This can be as simple as a potluck dinner at a park. If you arrange for the team, parents, and coaches to meet in a social setting before the first practice, kids will be more relaxed and they will have the comfort of their parents nearby. The bonus is that you'll get to know the coaches better too!
The good news is that kids are resilient - if you make mistakes, you can always adjust your approach and help your child.
What steps have you taken to help your child's transition to a new team?
A new study confirms benefits to surgically repairing ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) knee injuries within twelve weeks for athletes aged fourteen and under. The study was authored by Theodore Ganley, M.D., director of sports medicine for The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, and colleagues.
The research also revealed that treatments delayed more than twelve weeks had significant risks, including a four-fold increase in irreparable medial meniscus tears, an eleven-fold increase in lateral compartment chondral injuries, a three-fold increase in patellotrochlear injuries, and other issues.
I've spent some time co-writing with Dr. Ganley over the last six months and I'm here to tell you that he's truly a brilliant, top-notch expert in pediatric sports medicine. That said, I can verify that he (and I) strongly encourage injury prevention efforts.
For optimal health, please take steps to help your child prevent injuries--it's in your child's best interest. Knee injuries are serious and can often be prevented. The American Orthopaedic Society for Sports Medicine (AOSSM) is a fantastic online resource. The web site includes sports tips, TEAM exercises, an Athletic Health Handbook, and other information under the "Resources" tab. Check it out and continue to responsibly guide your child athlete.
Sports, sports, and more sports. Finding time for a vacation is almost impossible. You run from one game to the next, a private lesson, a camp, and then a skills clinic. How could you possibly leave town?
Take the time. Make the time. Go on a vacation and have some fun.
I know...Suzie can't miss her gymnastics practice or Joey will get cut from his football team if your family heads out of town. Unfortunately, it's inevitable that one of you or your children will have to miss something.
Do your best to choose a good time and stick to it. Get away and relax. Kids, just like you, need a break once in a while. You know the feeling--*awe*. When you're away, you don't worry about your day-to-day routine. Upon your return, you're refreshed and ready to jump back into your life with renewed energy. Kids feel the same way.
When you're deciding on the best time to get away, be sure to consider the following:
Don't leave at the beginning of the season. Kids are just starting to get in shape. If your child misses the gradual steps towards getting in shape, he risks injury by working out too hard upon his return.
Try not to leave during important tryouts. Tryouts are important for children and coaches. Your child will feel more comfortable and true part of the team if he earns a spot just like everyone else.
Try not to leave for a long period of time during season. You signed your child up for a team and he's committed. If it's possible to wait until the season ends, wait.
Let your child help you choose a time. Your child might resist the idea of leaving town because of love of the game, fear of being punished by a coach upon return, or simply fear of the unknown. By involving her with the decision making, she might feel more comfortable with the ultimate decision.
Breea, Anna (family friend), and Cameron
Clark is on the left (#6)
Clark
